I should have been at home working on NaNoWriMo this evening, but during a quick post-work pint with Nathan I learnt the utterly astounding Samantha Ellis was in Cardiff, which I feel fully justifies the fact I didn’t get home until 6am.
I’m taking her to Dorsia soon. I’ve decided. With a surname like Ellis it has to be done.
The trending topics on Twitter told me the McRib is back so, like the free-thinking individual I am, I went in search of one at the end of the night, accompanied by a rather inebriated guy with baggy jeans and a giant emo fringe. As we valiantly made our way to St Mary Street his fashionably oversized jeans got the better of him and started falling down. He found this rather amusing and carried on walking as his jeans gradually slipped down to his ankles, at which point he realised it was quite difficult to walk and pulled them back up.
Then he got arrested.
That’s right: as he was pulling his jeans up a police car stopped, two cops ran out and arrested him. For exposing his knees.
I would like to thank the South Wales Police for finally taking the matter of knees seriously. They are a public menace and need to be stamped out; if only everyone had the foresight to apprehend knees, instead of dealing with lesser drunken crimes like assault, we would probably be living in a utopia by now.
And as if that wasn’t stupid enough, when I got to McDonald’s they weren’t even selling McRibs — turns out that sponsored tweet is only relevant in America. Stupid Twitter…